Couple of days ago, I happened to visit 3 hospitals within a day. It was an exhausting day, but it left me ponder more into the meaning of life. It started with my first visit with my father to the knee specialist (Orthopaedic Clinic) in Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH). My father is a 75 year old man. We're trying to understand the reason behind the slow movement of my father. He has been complaining about his right knee pain since 6 months ago. He felt weak and believed that the knee is making him fragile. After a few follow ups ( and with the assessment of the neurologist), we believe that the slowness in movement and his unsteadiness is the result of a minor stroke at his neck. His first stroke attack was 2 years old which weaken him physically. The specialist diagnosis sound convincing. There will be another follow up visit on 2/12 for an injection to his knee. This will 'temporary' relieve my father's knee pain. If he start to walk normally thru this partition check, it'll be a simple surgery to replace his knee. Else, it should be the result of the second minor stroke that slow his movement. I'm much fearful of a third ones which will could be fatal or make him bedridden. This will be a lot more suffering for him. I started to wonder why old age must be so frustrating with so much pain and suffering. I could see my father's helplessness, his agony and lose of pride. In times I felt bad to raise my voice at him. I'm just as frustrated that there is so little I can do to help him, besides ferrying him around for medical examination and TCM acupuncture. Right now, I just hope the injection could make him walk normally so that he could have a pleasant Chinese New Year (CNY) on 14th Feb 2010.
My second trip of the day was a visit to my 5th uncle, OH Teck Ann, in Dover Park Hospice. I think he is 53 year old now and he is young. He is in the final stage of his cancer and is waiting for his time. He has 2 young kids. Elder girl in secondary 3 while the younger boy in primary 5. Personally, I think both are old enough to take care for their father. Giving him comfort and keeping him company for his remaining days. At the very least, provide the father some mental support and comfort. I don't know why. The kids seen to keep a distant from the father. Maybe they're afraid that the cancer could be contagious. Such insensitive behavior must have hurt my Uncle a lot. But this has never erode the love my uncle has for his children. He loves his family and has always placed them above him. I guess it is the Asian upbringing and culture, we do not openly communicate our love and concern for this family. For my Uncle, the communication channel is not well established. On coming CNY, my uncle has decided to stay in Hospice. Initially he still longed to go home in CNY. In the comfort of his house and with the family members around him. Spending his CNY with the closest persons in his life, probably his last. But lately, he changes his mind, I guess he doesn't want to trouble his family. Even at his final stage of the life, family is still above him. I hope that the children will grow up and appreciate all good thing that the father has done to keep the family going.
My final visit was at Changi general hospital. It was my colleague YitSoong whom was enlisted due to abdominal pain. He's now in his early thirty. He is very young. Suddenly it with acute abdominal pain and has to be hospitalized. I started to wonder again why life is so unpredictable and so fragile. Illness seen to 'hit' us any time. Today might be abdominal pain, tomorrow a stroke and next could be a cancer. Nobody knows when these 'friends' will 'visit' us. But we know that they will come one day; And when they will come, it will be the time when we least expect it. It could be tomorrow when you're still young and energetic.
Lately I came across an article which wrote:
' We live as if we never die'
' We die as if we never live'.
it's a sad truth, we have forgotten to live. Why must this be so?
Trapped
OKY
