A day without sun..

Today is a day without Sun for me. A day as dark as the night, without any stars. It's a rude awakening to find out that my application for the CMP manager post in IMFS was not successful. It'll be a promotion for me should I got it. They found a better candidate from IMFT, Lehi. And I was rejected! I feel really bad and terrible. I sobbed loudly within, with my hot tear back-flowing slowly down my throat. With many why why why questions running wildly in my head. I want to talk it out but I was stuck in a meeting. My wife come to my mind. Thru the phone messages, she consoled me. It helped. But I'm still hurt and bleeding.

Naively I've conditioned myself to believe that I stood a very good chance for this new post, given my past and current good performance. And with a close working relationship with KimSeong, the new IMFS Engineering Manager, will give me an added advantage. Plus the blessing and recommendation from my director to KokChoy, TECH's president. This give me a lot of hope and confidence. I started to visualize my new role, my team and the new challenges ahead. I'm really silly....suddenly, I was like a falling star. Lost and missing in the cold ocean.

I want to know the reason where did I do wrongly. Terribly wrong. But will it help? Will it make any difference? I guess not. I must move on. Indeed, it's a bad fall. But I'll stand up and start moving and then back to my ran again. This is just a hiccup in a small part of my life. I will survive. I will be stronger. At the very least, I have tried my best, as my wife told me. Other is beyond my control and influence. I agreed with her. I'm always a fighter. I have been thru so much and will continue to fight for my right and a better future for my family. I want to make my mother feel proud of my achievement. I guess a lot need to be done and plan.

Right now, I'm in the middle of a cross road junction again, whichever direction that I'll choose eventually, I know that it will lead me to where I want to go. I've faith in myself. Just like the faith my mother has in me when everyone in the world think that I'm a looser. I might have lost a promotion opportunity. But I cannot lose my faith. My self confidence. I know that when tomorrow come, the sun will be back... smiling warmly at me.

Good bye my sadness....OKY